i feel like maybe i wasn't looking down for a second - had my eyes focused up on streetlights & building tops & stars & the moon - and i guess i didn't see the hole right in front of me: not a wide one, just a few feet square, but deep enough for my whole body to fall into it. & now all i can do is look at the darkness around me & the stars above & the mineral reflections of the lights around me, sparkling earth.

i think the forward trajectory will push me out of it: painfully, and i'll probably get all scraped up, but i have a schedule to adhere to, and no time for beautiful refuges or traps, either.

maybe the next depression will be a wider one, and full of cold shining water to swim through & stay under & be borne up by - maybe it will last several months & bring me to the northwest, & through the exhaustion of swimming & the rest of floating (with tiny movements directing me, hands treading water) i'll be reminded of how good i had it on solid ground with the warmth & comfort of loved ones around me.

but right now i'm spoiled and all i want is a good long swim.