sometimes it's easier to just close my eyes and write.

yesterday there was a combination of nausea from new glasses, anger and sadness at having my roommate, a fierce femme with an amazing history of activism and outspokenness, be assaulted on the street by some asshole who thinks its his god-given right to touch any female body that he wants. then there was anxiety at being in a space full of people. and anxiety over the 35 pages of writing i have to do in the next 14 days. and anxiety over what i'm going to do with my life when all of those papers are done. and anxiety over unrequited emotional attachments.

fuck maybe i should have stayed away from talking about this again, i'm getting another headache and this time i can't lie down and drink tea and be read to because i have to write at least 5 pages tonight.

i'm so happy when i organize to get shit done. i love putting together events, setting up workshops, making progress, stocking up the library, reading new books, attending talks. i want to do it more. i want to do it now. fuck school. as has been asked over and over again lately in my life : what's the point of academia?

hah.
one of the many fun things about presenting as an andro(gynous) queer is how fascinated babies are with me. especially because i love babies, and i'm happy to have them stare at me and offer me food across a room.

what's less fun, but still entertaining, is how disturbed their parents sometimes are. like the adult who just put their child in a high chair facing away from me so that the child couldn't look at me in happy fascination any more. they're just jealous cuz their baby loves me!

fine, it's hard to write a paper about feminist blogging without being distracted by all the fun blogs on the internet, including this tiny little secret one. but now i'm going to do it. i will elucidate, in 20 pages, how feminist blogs are excluded from the category of 'political' blogging! discursive constructions of blogs, beware!