i can't think what to write.

there' s so much going on, some so nice and some so stressful. i guess the stressful stuff is actually not happening. like i haven't yet wrtiten letters of intent, found a second reference,
figured out how i'm going to boost my cgpa.

but i have spent quality time with friends
+ on out-of-nowhere lunch dates
+ in conversations about post-apocalyptic pick-up lines
+ on bike rides to verdun
++++ i guess that's all.


i've been retreating, i think. maybe it's the fall. i only ever have urges to lie in bed & watch tv on dvd. i want to be able to write eloquently, cohesively, well. i want a penpal and someone to exchange mixtapes with and a rugby team. i'm at a loss & maybe it's because i'm not in school or maybe it's because i just don't have any plans for what happens next or maybe i wish i was starting out again, somehow.

i always get nostalgic around my birthday, i think. two years ago, was it only two? i rode home on the 24 and couldn't breathe, didn't have the friendships i wanted. last year was amazing - final fantasy and parking and mix cds and biking around this city that i love.

what'll happen this time? i want to get nice mail, but the only people who care about me are in this city.

i want to feel good in my skin.

resolutions?
- make nice mail to get nice mail.
- use that typewriter more
- go to craft night tonight
- find a grad program i'm interested in
- learn a fucking instrument already
- plan a new tattoo...

but i don't want to be productive in this work-related way. i want to lie around and doodle and cuddle and watch buffy and make things and type and be a good writer and not feel pressured into being in school and mostly just draw things.

oh, and eat poutine.